She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
