no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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