The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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