Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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