therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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