I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Best friends brother. Beat that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
