I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize