Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
