I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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