When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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