My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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