Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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