I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
