I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
