Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
