# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
