508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
