Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
