In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
