I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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