Are we in a gay sports bar?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
