the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
pray to the hookup gods
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
