Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
