Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
third nipple confirmed
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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