apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
