i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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