guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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