we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
