This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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