drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
