he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
