either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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