Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
