the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize