dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
