I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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