So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am naked and annoyed.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
