This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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