You're so nebulous sometimes
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
