RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
