Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
