She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
