My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
