We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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