Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
