at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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