Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
