you traded sex for a burrito?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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