small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
