He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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