let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
