Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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