Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he puts the penis in happiness.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
