You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think my moral compass just broke
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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