I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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