I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
