you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
